Motherhood series: to work or to stay at home? Pt 6

It's 11 in the morning on a weekday - usually the time when my workmates and I would be heading out to get coffee. We might share a banana bread, and swap stories about our day so far and share a few laughs before going back to our desk to continue with our work day.

Instead of being at my desk at work, I'm sitting at our dining table at home, having a little break while Alexander is napping. My day started at 6.30am when I got out of bed, nursed him, fed him his breakfast of toast and weetbix, cleaned up, changed his nappy, made the bed while he pulls out all his toys and makes more mess. Halfway through that, I had to stop him from climbing onto the chair to look out the window - twice. After that I take him out for a crawl in the backyard (thank goodness it's a sunny day), play a game of fetch with my other baby, Frankie, put him on the swing until he's had enough. It's 10.30am when he goes down for his nap, I hurriedly take a shower, get dressed, brush my hair and have my cup of coffee while I work on this post.

And this is what I do everyday now, my friends. Yes, I have finally taken the plunge; I have become a stay at home mum.
It wasn't an easy decision and I spent months dithering about it. But once I'd handed in my resignation, I stopped stressing - a clear sign it was the right decision for me. There were a number of reasons why I did it. Firstly, I had a really long commute (2 hours return, on a good day), which means I'd be away from Alexander for at least 10 hours per day. Secondly, when Stu and I actually sat down and did the maths, we soon realised it was not financially viable for me to go to work. After we take out all the costs (ie. childcare, parking, petrol, tolls) my salary works out to be pitiful few dollars an hour. But mostly I made this decision because the thought of being away from him just broke my heart.

The best thing about being a stay at home mum is being able to spend everyday with Alex. We go to the beach, the park and the shops all the time and my days are filled with laughter (along with the crankiness and dirty nappies). Another thing I love is how I am now much more involved with my local community. I chat to shopkeepers who love giving Alex a cuddle and I have really started to get to know my neighbours. I meet other mums at playgroup and have joined in other activities like swimming lessons, pilates wth a creche, and next term I'll sign us up for baby gym.

One day I will go back to paid work but for now I am proud and happy to be a stay at home mum. I am so grateful to have Stu's support. In the grand scheme of things I feel that the tender baby years is only a very short period of time and I want to be there for every moment of it.

Motherhood is... having your life turned upside down, and loving through it all.

***

This post brings us to the end of this motherhood series. I hope you have enjoyed it. I would like to thank the mothers who contributed, namely Julie, Melinda, Nikki, Melissa and my mum.

25 Responses to Motherhood series: to work or to stay at home? Pt 6

Ananka said...

Oh wow what a big decision and I think you'll be happy with the choice :-)

Samantha Heather said...

AH such a great decision Trish. So glad you can spend these special moments with Alex. They're so important.

Rigel Barry said...

Such a tough decision to come to. weighing up all the pros and cons. At the end of the day, you'll never get this time back with Alex and if your instinct/ gut is saying "stay home" it's wonderful that you get the opportunity to do so! Fantastic series Trishie- loved hearing mothers different experiences. Enjoy this next time of your life as a SAHM. x

azurachan said...

It is always my dream to be a stay home mom. However, I still couldn't resign at the moment. 😔 I hope you are happy with your decision.

Michelle {Jarrah Jungle} said...

Good on you, if your happy and hubbys happy and babys happy then everyones happy! Its a shame childminding and all the other costs make it so much harder and more expensive to go back to work now, but then again maybe its a blessing because it makes more sense to stay at home with your family :)

Joie de Viv said...

Very lovely post... and all the pics make it clear why it was the best decision for you! Like you, even if I returned to work, the costs of childcare and time, the take home amount would not be worth all the hours away. I also agree, these tender baby years are so short and fleeting. Glad you're able to follow your heart!

xx Viv at JoieDeViv

Beatrice Euphemie said...

Yes, a big decision, but one that is right for you and your family. I know you will treasure these times with your sweet little boy. xo Karen

burntfeather said...

I think the perfect decision for your family Trishie :) I can't imagine a job more tough than being a Mum but I also can't imagine there are many as rewarding or loving!

AVY said...

Enjoy it while you can!

/ Avy
http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com




Kelsea Echo said...

I love this! Love how you're happy with the decision you've made - sounds like the perfect one for you, Alexander, and Stu!

OtherMix said...

I hope you are happy with the decision, enjoy your time :]
Two hours is indeed a long commute!

Hi! I am LiLi! said...

I did the same, Trish and had no regrets about it. Now, my daughter is in college and the boy is in high school.

Roses, Lace and Brocante said...

You will never regret making that decision Trishie, it's such a precious time together.
I feel so sorry for the mums who have to continue working for financial reasons. We have paid parental leave in New Zealand which is a big help for the first few weeks.
What beautiful photos of you both and I adore Alexandra's clothes! A very bonny boy!
Hugs
Shane x

Anouka said...

I can imagine that it couldn't have been an easy decision but I believe that it's the right one. Spending quality time with people (your son in this case) cannot be bought or replaced by anything.

Juju at Tales of Whimsy.com said...

How totally wonderful and splendid. I'm absolutely thrilled for you!

*hugs*

Emmett Katherine said...

glad you guys were able to come to a solution that works for your family. enjoy your time at home with your son :)

RaeAbigael said...

awwww. what a sweet and big and tough decision. i wish you all the best :-)

xoxo, rae
http://www.raellarina.net/

Poppy said...

Hi Trishie,

Firstly, gorgeous shots of you and baby Alex - the camera adores you both!

Secondly, I, too, found that after subtracting all those expenses from my salary, it really was not worth it to be away from my daughter. When she started kindergarten, I began my part-time job as a private English tutor, and conducted lessons in my own home, so that I was always there when Liberty returned from school.

I think you made the right decision and your smile definitely proves it!

xx
Poppy

Enara Girl said...

I'm very happy for you Trishie, I think that you took the right decision and you will have a lot of more time for your family. xoxo

Iliska Dreams said...

I hope you are happy in the next phase of mothering. For me, with Jarvis there was no debate.

ps ten hour day, holly cow what a long day on top of trying to spend time with Alex, your partner, and have time to yourself!

Rose said...

Congrats on your new post! Believe me, you will not regret your decision but of course, once a while you will miss working but what is important than kids?

Enjoy your new life as sahm!

lisacng @ expandng.com said...

Glad you are happy with your decision, not only emotionally but also financially which may be a reason more parents don't stay home.

Jane said...

I really enjoyed this series Trishie. And congrats to you on your decision! xx

My Garden Diaries said...

YAY!!!!! I am so happy that you have made this decision friend! You will be so happy with it as I am grateful everyday that I am the one with them even when they are cranky! There is nothing better and now that my youngest is almost 2 I can clearly see how fast it is flying! You soak it all in! Beautiful photos! Nicole xo

kidgranny said...

Congrats on your decision! xo