As much as I am enjoying motherhood, there are days that are just plain...horrible. Those sort of days are filled with tears, full of pain and I am left plagued with self doubt.
Here are some of my real, completely honest (and somewhat morbid) thoughts since becoming a mum:
2. Once I cut one of Alexander's nails too deep it bled. It didn't bother him the least but I was in tears because I had hurt my baby.
3. Sometimes he sleeps so soundly, I have had to place my finger under his nose to make sure he is still breathing.
4. I wish I had traveled more, partied more, gone out more before I fell pregnant. Though I think I will forever be plagued with wanderlust. I am SO glad I had completed my 12 things for 2012 - at least I have ticked a few things off my bucket list.
5. I love to watch him sleep.
6. I am terrified of dropping him, especially when he is wet and slippery after a bath.
7. I have been buying (expensive) shoes online to make myself happier. Retail therapy does work a treat for me.
8. I seriously wonder when I'll be able to wear my lovely silk/cashmere/non-nursing clothes again.
9. I long for a break from mummy duties but I miss him so much when he's not with me.
10. I hear baby cries all the time. I hear it in the wind, when I'm in the shower, when I'm in a loud food court, when I'm vacuuming, when I am asleep. But when I really stop and listen, I then realise it's all just in my head. Crazy much?
11. I tend to eat when I'm wearing Alex in a carrier. And I always end up dropping food crumbs on his head.
12. Sometimes when he spews a little in his bassinet, I simply place a face towel over the wet spot instead of changing the sheets.
13. I have screamed at him a few times.
14. I may have called him a d!@khead a few times.
15. I get out of doing housework by blaming the baby.
Do you have anything to confess lately?
*On a lighter note: the blue booties pictured above were knitted by Stu's grandmother some 40 years ago for Stu! Isn't it sweet that little Alexander gets to be in
his father's shoes...