The Black Hole

Before you read: Writings on the wall is a series of short stories I wrote throughout the years of growing up. Some are linked, some are not, some are completely random and some are fictional. But all of them contain a little bit of me. Here is one such story that is very close to my heart. I apologise in advance for the sadness and heaviness.I’m in a black hole. It was a hole i didn’t see, like a dark cloud that creeps over the sky on a beautiful warm summer day, a car that dashes out of the side street and takes you unaware. The darkness engulfs me, taking over my very soul and holds me tight, like a lover who won’t let go.

“It’s like a dark cloud, hanging over your shoulder. One day it’ll pass,” the doctor said, 3 months ago.
“No, doctor, it’s more like a deep, dark never ending hole that swallows you. Just when you think you’ve glimpsed the faintest hint of light, you fall deeper than you ever thought you could, down into the black hole."

It’s not suicidal, it’s not heartbreaking. It’s the heart wrenching state of nonchalance, the feeling that I don’t care, I don’t give a fuck, I can’t be bothered, I can’t feel, I don’t want to do this anymore. My heart twitches, like someone’s wringing the soul out of me. Even cigarettes taste stale, food bland. I don’t want to die yet I don’t want to live. I just want to sleep for an eternity.

To be continued...
Pictures from here.

2 Responses to The Black Hole

juanitatortilla said...

I think we all relate to this feeling -- some more often and intensely than others. Some get out of it quickly, some don't.

lyndseywiley said...

Word.

You are super talented. Now I have to go bake some cupcakes to eat away the sadness :o). jk Thanks for sharing :o).